The whole Blah damn thing

So my Dad subscribes to "The Observer" which is a Christian magazine. And I don't have a problem with that. Freedom of Religion is what makes this one of the greatest countries in the world. But seeing various copies of this magazine sitting around my house has got me to wondering how well accepted an Atheist magazine would go over. There must be one out there somewhere. Can't you just imagine the cover of Atheist's Quarterly with a picture of a man on his couch watching the power-block hour on Spike T.V. with a bottle of Gatorade (to fight off the hangover of course). Check out page 27 for "New Things To Do On Sundays" or page 42 for "Satellite T.V.: A Better Dish To Put Money In."

Just a few weeks ago I found out the difference between Atheist (someone who denies the existence of God) and Agnostic (someone who doubts the existence of God). I personally don't like to be labeled with either (not that I'm against being labeled. I'm labeled a lot of things, I just prefer not to have a religion). If I had to pick one or the other I'd have to say I'm Agnostic. I can't say there is no God because no one knows for certain. I just can't confirm that there is one either.

"Why don't you believe in God?" This is a question that I've answered many times to many different people and sadly to too many deaf ears. Because people who ask that question don't really want to know the answer. And it feels like a very patronizing thing when they ask that question, one which is easily the most debated question in history (skipping that thing about chickens and eggs (hint, it was the egg)) and then they don't like your answer. I wouldn't ask you, "what's your favorite colour?" and then get pissed when you say "blue." My answer is, and has always been "I don't believe in God, because I just don't know" by which I mean, that I have never seen any evidence to show me that there is a God. For fuck sakes there's video of Big Foot but in today's technological world, where Kim Kardashian can't take a non-video taped shit, we can't catch a glimpse of the Big Man? Why don't I believe in God? I've got a better question: Why DO you believe in God? The burden of proof really should lie in the believer, shouldn't it? If I told you I saw a unicorn today you'd think I were insane, but why don't you believe me? You obviously can't prove I didn't see one. But when it comes to God, it's a matter of faith. That's what will save your soul.

I went to church as a kid with my parents. The average Sunday we would sit upstairs for a little while, stand up, sing, sit down, pray, stand up, pray, sit down, listen, pray, sing, stand up, sit down, and then it would be time for the kids to come up to the front, listen to the minister for a little bit and then go down stairs to listen to some stories, colour some pictures, sing some songs etc. And I didn't always pay attention but I had the basic idea that there was once this guy, Jesus, who was a pretty nice guy, loved a lot of people, and that he died, and then came back for a bit, and then went to Heaven. Not the most captivating story but if you sit still long enough you could have some cookies. Well in the end, all I really took from Sunday school was that this was a story. Not history. And as I got older and absorbed more about religion than what I learnt at church it sort of dawned on me that the world doesn't argue over history the way they do over religion. We share a history, we fight over a religion. There have been thousands of Gods in the past and you want to "get all up in my grill" because I believe in one less than you do? You're almost as much an atheist as I am! But I have reason to believe that animals evolved, and big bangs made the planets, and I like boobs because it's my natural instinct.

I would never want to shake someone else's faith. I don't particularly like the God conversation because all it takes is one little seed of doubt to take hold and grow like a virus pulling the walls of your faith down. And it doesn't hurt to have faith. For people that have got it, rock on. There is always someone there for you to turn to, whereas I have to pay a shrink a couple hundred dollars an hour to listen to how shitty my job is. And even if I ask her to fix it, she's just going to make a not on a pad and add it to my file. Faith is a lot like love: it can grow, and it can fade, you can find it or lose it, it can build slowly or shatter in an instant. And just like love, you can't force it and you can't fake it. It's either there or it's not.

Why don't I believe in God?........ I guess that's just the way God made me.

DB